I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
