it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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