Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
