Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
