last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
