so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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