i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
