I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
