you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
