i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
