haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
