i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
