yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
