my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
