so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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