just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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