Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
