Do you still have your period?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
