yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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