I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
