Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
now i know why i became what i already was.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
