For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
