Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
