it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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