the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
as a side note pls kill me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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