Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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