Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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