I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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