You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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