do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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