I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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