Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
