Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
