Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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