So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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