You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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