I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
