I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
