Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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