I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
