jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
