Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
