Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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