So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
