he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
