i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
