Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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