I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ate ashes out of my bong
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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