when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
