I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
